Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World?

The move is done. My over reactions from my last post have been calmed for a number of weeks. My sister-in-law & brother-in-law have come and gone, along with the bbq/shower.Terry found a job, which is awesome. He's learning web design with a company where a family friend works. She got his resume last Wednesday and started work today. That's a huge weight off our shoulders now, we have income!  Bills will start getting paid again when he starts getting paid. I had my meeting with the EEOC this morning, which was completely nerve-wracking. I'd worked myself into such a state that I could barely answer the ladies questions. Then GreekTown called about the incident where I was one of 7 people stuck in an elevator at their casino for 40 minutes, people including my claustrophobic mother-in-law, and my pregnant, scared of heights sister-in-law. Not to mention my terror of falling to my death. Yeah, my fear is strangely specific. No big deal. In the meantime I've continued reading mental health stuff.

I've actually been reading mostly about emotions. As always my goal is to be off of medicine. Is it possible? I'm not sure at this point, but I've been researching what kinds of emotions are in the "normal" spectrum and what kinds of emotions need to be dealt with as abnormal. This article from psychcentral.com doesn't really have any new information, but it's a great reminder of all the things I forget as I get busy and want to "do it all". This special forced summer break I'm going to spend a lot of time deciding what my "non-negotiable" to do items are. Also, figuring out the routines and the patterns I need to maintain a level of emotional stability. My thought is when I get those things figured out I'll have a much better handle on when things are getting out of control. Hopefully I'll recognize sooner when my patterns are swinging too far away from home base and need less medication and doctors appointments. When I was a kid my mom's patterns were so regimented that I didn't have serious issues, even without medication, until college when all those patterns needed to be held by myself. If I get those patterns back, with all of my new knowledge of bipolar, and my developing knowledge of my needs to be successful, I may be able to live safely, without episodes, minus chemicals & doctors. Time will tell. It's week 1 of new patterns so its way too early to know. Years too early. But it's a nice thought!

Updates of sorts...

It's for sure been a while. I've had things I wanted to write about (the MPAA for one, nothing makes me more angry than the ratings system in the US) but things just keep getting in the way. Instead I've decided to do what I do best and talk about myself. ;)

First things first, my crazy schedule...
School has been plugging along and I've been getting lost in trigonometry and French. My French class has finally come to an end. I gave my final speech yesterday on the regulations of food testing in Europe vs. food testing in America. Since no one really cares I focused mainly on the difference between the labels and the governing groups for the food testing. Really as long as I pass thats all I care about. An A or B would be AWESOME though. I really want to get into grad school and an A or B would make that a lot easier. Tomorrow I take my final math "quiz" during class. The teacher is allowing me to use my ipod to block out the distracting noises. No one sits in front of me so there should be no problems with seeing people. Either way I'm passing the class so that works for me. I'll just have to finish my homework tonight and make sure I know my rules. Work is going as work has always gone. I've decided not to worry too much about it, but I am for sure planning on working some hardcore overtime during the 4 weeks I'm off of school. There's always something to do so I just have to convince the bosses that doing the more menial tasks are worth paying me time and a half. Shouldn't be too hard. They for sure know that all of that stuff needs to be done.

Health updates!
 I have made several changes in my health plan in the last few months. In the beginning of the semester I was on a few meds for my bipolar/stomach issues/back pain. In the last month and a half I decided that I didn't want my health to be tied so closely with modern medicine. Some people find that strange that I am fascinated by modern medicine, chemistry and really just science in general but don't want to participate in it. Frankly, my main interest is in things like GMO foods and alternative medicine/nutrition. I don't believe in creating things for the sake of creating them. In the last 20 years or so there are so many new diseases just because pharmaceutical companies have created solutions for them. I believe in creating food that can withstand bug infestations, and extreme weather patterns with its natural genes that haven't been utilized properly. I believe in using exercise, massage, acupucnture, and a truly healthy diet to create a healthy body and a healthy environment. Why do we need all these opiates for low to mid grade pain? Why do we create addicts where we don't need to? It's not necessary. I went to the gym this morning and met with a trainer. He helped me find a bunch of exercises that work out my entire body (including my back that is bothering me) without straining my back to the point where I'm in pain. Today, after that workout, my back feels better than it has in over a month. Obviously I still have  to be careful, but I feel like specific exercises like that and maybe some sort of massage therapy would be way more helpful for me than any sort of opiate I could be given. Currently I am not taking any sort of supplement or drug for anything and I am hoping to keep it that way. I may change my mind and start taking a multivitamin again, or maybe a vitamin supplement depending on what is recommended by the dietitian I am seeing on Tuesday but I am really hoping to change my diet to the point where I won't need anything like that either.

We'll see what happens, but for now I am looking forward to the end of the semester and a continuation of me finding more natural and holistic answers to my health issues.